Monday, September 14, 2009
Minnie's Revenge
Imagine living life with all sorts of restrictions--like living in a jail cell--and having no rights for the good of yourself, only others. The life of Minnie, who had absolutely had it with her husband, had almost reached the life of a slave. One little bird of hers had gotten strangled and she knew her husband killed it. "Mrs. Hale's hand went out to the bird-cage. 'His neck. Choked the life right out of him.'" Minnie used to love to sing and so did the birdl; when Mr. Wright killed the bird, it stopped singing and so did Minnie. That bird and her created one person. Happiness in her life vanished again, depression ran over her like a truck, and she reacted violently. He made her bird struggle to live, so she sould make Mr. Wright stuggling to live. Shortly after she discovered her bird was dead, she hung her husband. Although there was a gun in the house, she wanted him to suffer like he made her bird suffer.
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I like the fact the she needed to have her husband suffer. I didn't see that when I read it. "Depression ran over her like a truck" was a cool simile. What you wrote about the bird showing freedom was awesome. I like how you saw the bird and her as one person. Maybe next time you could use more text evidence to support all your ideas. Maybe try to get more variety in vocabulary. I love how you've grown to write so sophisticated over the year.
ReplyDeleteI love the saying "Depression ran over her like a truck." That's really cool. I never thought of her and the bird making up one person, that's a great idea. I really liked your beginning and the dash dash construction.
ReplyDeleteLeah, I fully agree with your response. Some of those things that you pointed out in your response were and eye opener to me. I didn't even see those until you said them. For example I never thought of being depressed and even like that. You made a great point. Maybe next time you write a short response (1 paragraph) you shouldn't put as many quotes. It made me a little confused and I had to focus a little more on the story to know what you were actually saying. Although I still think that you did an awesome job! Keep writing soooooooo great!
ReplyDeleteYour metaphor of Minnie and a slave was a good way to put it. Also proficient was your appropriate use of the dash construction, and quotes from the text. If you were a somewhat more original in your ideas, though, that would be better. You pretty much wrote about what most other people wrote about -- she wanted to make him suffer like he made her suffer. Otherwise, some of your ideas, like the bird uniting with her to make one person, are looking fantastic.
ReplyDeleteI liked the end of your piece about the gun being in the house. You could have said that the gun would have been too easy of a death for her husband. I liked how the quote went so well with your ideas. Great job, Beast!
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